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Industry people reveal their Secret Santas

15 December 2011

As Christmas approaches, with its seasonal good will, we know that some figures from the year remain a bête noir, and therefore deserve some special yuletide attention. We ask figures in the construction industry who would be on their 'Secret Santa' list, what they'd plan on giving them, and why. Below we give you a selection of responses...

Jeremy McNulty, Associate, Jackson Coles Project Management

I’d give Boris a bike for Christmas and ask him to get on it! (the roads are still congested and so are the trains and the footpaths!) I’d give Lord Coe a pair of trainers for Christmas and tell him to take a running jump! (thanks for wasting so much money on the opening ceremony – we have a recession on you know!) I’d give Kylie a kiss  for Christmas because she’s gorgeous!! (my wife knows that Kylie is the only woman that I’d leave her for.... she doesn’t seemed that worried by this?)

Boris Johnson: Get on yer bike! (metaphorically)

Liz Male, Property Consulting PR

I would give the gift of a tree to Chris Huhne, to replace the one that got cut down to facilitate my printing of the Green Deal consultation. I would also give the gift of a scented candle to Greg Barker, to help mask the whiff of shame that’s hanging over the solar PV Feed In Tariff debacle. The candle can also be used when the lights go out.

Greg Barker: Lighting candles while Rome burns...

Bill Hanway, Director of Operations, Europe, AECOM

My Secret Santa is Diane Abbott, MP for Hackney North and Stoke Newington, for not acknowledging the positive impact of the London 2012 Olympics on Hackney and the surrounding boroughs. The Games is not the ‘total’ answer to the long term socio-economic challenges of the area, but it will improve the environment, establish a direction for investment and deliver a better quality of life for her constituents. I would send her a present of a framed photo of the site in 2003!

Chris Blythe, Chief executive, CIOB

My secret Santa would be a David Milliband mask to be given to Ed Milliband . The reason is pretty obvious. Ed is clearly not the man for the job and needs to change his image.

. Ed Milliband: Had a nose job - now needs a fraternal face lift

Richard Saxon, Director, Consultancy for the Built Environment

My Secret Santa is for Michael Gove, Education Minister, for failing to understand that the great schools he wants don’t design themselves: architects are essential and the good ones are great value! By way of a present I would send him a soft toy of a warthog: probably the worst-designed of all animals.

Michael Gove: Warthog for the 'cuts in education' stalwart

Eddie Tuttle, Public Affairs and Policy Manager, CIOB

A present for the Great British Public would be an abacus to calculate the savings they will make from the Green Deal. And a gas mask/bullet brief vest for the UK badger population…

Gas settings: Heat turned up on UK badgers

Andy Brooke, Operations Manager, Considerate Constructors Scheme

I’ve had our brightest minds working on Secret Santa and they have come up with a few for your consideration! For Lady GaGa – M&S vouchers, for Simon Cowell – Gary Barlow’s personality. For Wayne Rooney – a leash, and for Jeremy Clarkson – a welcome to the real world OR a £1,985,000 pay decrease.

Dressing down: Gaga for Marks and Sparks

Graham Robinson, Director, Global Construction Perspectives

I would buy a lamp with a genie for the Chancellor, George Osborne, who would get three wishes:
 
George Osborne’s first wish might be how he gets us all out of the rather deep fiscal position – the genie grants his wish: sell Scotland.
 
His second wish might be how to find a mediator to help the coalition get back together – the genie grants his wish: Putin to mediate.
 
His third and final wish is how he gives the children of all families in the UK all they want for Christmas – the genie grants his wish: Xbox 360 for all under 16’s and jobs for all 16-24 year olds the lost generation of NEET’s [not in education, employment or training].

Chrissi McCarthy, Director, Constructing Equality

For my Secret Santa I'd buy David Cameron a seal, so it could teach him how to stay on the ball, and subcontractors a time machine as It looks like it might be the only way they will survive increasingly long payment terms.

Don Ward, chief executive,

For a number of my good friends who are United fans (eg Michael Ankers of the Construction Products Association): A Manchester City replica football shirt with the number 61 printed on the back.

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