A company culture that prizes harmony can make good business sense, says Staffan Engström.
Staffan Engstrom
The construction industry is renowned for being conflict-ridden. I recall the consequences of a conflict between two companies that merged their business, each acquiring a share in the joint business.
One party felt short-changed, and accusations began to fly. The other partner was outraged, acted defensively, and communications soon broke down, leading to millions wasted in legal fees.
The prevailing wisdom is that the key to effective conflict management is all about good contract administration, however the truth is that relationship management matters even more.
You will be much more successful in managing conflict situations when you focus on understanding how people think, feel, and are motivated – whether dealing with an angry foreman or a multi-million pound legal arbitration.
In my experience, the core reason why normal issues become destructive conflicts is a question of mindset, linked to the failure to recognise that people frequently struggle to distinguish their feelings about business/commercial issues from their feelings about themselves. This can mean that they unconsciously interpret actions by others as attacks and so respond defensively.
In effect, poor communications make people entrenched in adverse positions and attitudes. They subconsciously create “stories” about the reasons for the issues that blame the other side.
For example, the contractor’s belief that the client is “impossible to deal with” may be more about the client’s belief that the contractor is angling for an unjustified claim. As a result, the client feels exposed, personally vulnerable, and defensive at every turn. The key for the contractor is to establish straightforward trust so that the real issues can be dealt with.
Successfully dealing with such a situation will involve separating out the conflict from the relationship, being “super-aware” of the risk of miscommunication, and remaining friendly and respectful, no matter how difficult the entrenchment.
When a situation becomes seriously dysfunctional, and you feel that you are struggling to be understood, think about getting some input from someone outside – some other angles on the truth. New perspectives can make all the difference.
"When a situation becomes seriously dysfunctional, and you feel that you are struggling to be understood, think about getting some input from someone outside – some other angles on the truth. New perspectives can make all the difference."
But as well as adopting a flexible mind-set and trying to see the situation from the other side’s perspective, there are other behaviours that everyone can adopt to help prevent communication problems and the entrenchment of unhelpful attitudes. Here are some pointers that can make all the difference:
1. Invest time to build relationships
Think about the conflict situations that you have seen develop. How many of them have been between parties with long-term, well-established, relationships? Not many, I would suggest.
If you are serious about making a relationship work with a major new client, then beware of leaving it all to one person or team. Invest in relationships at multiple levels across your organisations, so that you have the knowledge, trust, and mutual understanding in place to deal with issues when they arise.
2. Put the right people in place
It is amazing how often people are appointed to a role because they are technically good or understand the product, but their personality profile does not fit. A “bulldozer” manager might be great at getting things delivered on a contract running late, but a disaster in handling delicate tenant negotiations.
3. Build trust at a personal level
It is the individual managers and employees of an organisation that create its reputation, so if you want to have a corporate reputation for being good to deal with, then you need to actively manage your people to that end.
Developing personal trust and integrity means learning to address tough issues with the kind of straightforward approach that builds respect. Many people behave as though trust and integrity are being soft – that you need to be sly to be successful – so they undermine efforts to build successful relationships.
It surprises me how often organisations do little or nothing to guide their people in the basics of trust and integrity: straightforwardness, open communication and a friendly but direct approach.
4. Keep calm at all times
We have all seen people “lose it” in a difficult meeting. They perhaps think that they can get their way through bullying tactics, and the instinctive response is to go back just as aggressively to show that you aren’t intimidated.
There are better ways to respond. One that I always remember occurred amidst a dispute on a large site in London. A site agent was ranting at the director of a glazing subcontractor who listened to what was being said, then looked him in the eye and calmly said: “Have you quite finished your tantrum? Shall we get on with our discussion?” It completely flummoxed the site agent, who meekly had to comply.
Staffan Engström is an independent consultant with 30 years’ experience working with some of the best companies in the industry. www.staffanengstrom.co.uk
